I was panicking to my dad because I couldn’t find my sonic screwdriver and he said “It’s okay, just use the other one” and that’s when I realized my whole family is a bunch of fucking nerds
it’s weird how straight boys will find out that a girl is bisexual and then think that girl wants to fuck them with another girl. And if they find out a guy is gay they think that guy wants to fuck them.
No one wants to have sex with you. You are are not cute. At all.
tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
If you’re ever down, remember that sometimes the Gems go on ocean adventures in this tiny boat
and that’s adorable
smack that ass from 8 feet away